By Dr. Jacqueline Del Rosario
The recent re-release of the Disney classic, “Beauty and the Beast,” illustrates one of the long-standing myths that our culture has about relationships. By that, I mean the arrival of a Prince Charming to lift us off our feet and sweep us away.
There is a good message in this particular movie – sometimes, those whom we think are the beast (because they may not look like a hunk of burning love) are those who are best suited for us. They’re usually the best people for us because they align with our needs. Essentially, they are the life-long worthy partner we’ve always wanted.
Now, this doesn’t mean you have to go out and look for the ugliest man you can find and assume that he’ll have to do. But, as women, I mean that we are not constantly opening ourselves up to the right person. And, you never know, you might score and find the complete package.
Here’s what you need to do to make sure you don’t simply settle for less. Remember, just because the guy is cute and you melt when you are around him – even if you feel the biological clock is ticking – follow the path of wisdom. You know you’ve gone overboard if you dream about your next blind date as marriage material before you even meet him.
Before you jump into something you assume will last forever, check off some crucial factors that will impact your future relationship sustainability:
- You are compatible. Compatability means you fit together. For example, in morals and values, you are focused on the same ideals regarding decisions. You both will have similar approaches to topics such as children and how to raise them, how to handle money, religion, and church. Make sure you are on the same road and traveling in the same direction.
- Your temperament balances one another. You don’t have to be the same. That kind of relationship would be boring. However, you want to make sure you balance each other rather than spend most of your time together butting heads. You want to be like two pieces of a puzzle that fit together despite representing different colors and dimensions.
- You are both committed to doing the work. Make sure your partner wants to put in the same effort as you when making the relationship work. You don’t want to be stuck with someone who dials it in or bolts at the first sign. This means you can work together during a crisis to find a resolution and move forward as a couple.
- You are attracted to them. Chemistry is essential, and it’s not superficial to consider this as one of the critical factors. Think about Belle and the Beast. He wasn’t the most handsome fellow on the outside, yet his inner character won her over. The fact that the spell wore off and he cleaned up well afterward was just a bonus.
These factors can help you decide what type of investment you want to make. Is it time to diversify and move on, or is it worth buying and holding that relationship for the long term? These signs are the indicators you need to make that decision.